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So, this one time, I’m sprawled out, dim lights, some weird incense burnin’. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rub!” Made me happy as hell—tension gone, muscles singin’! But then—BOOM—she’s whisperin’ sweet nothings, tryna upsell me. Pissed me off! I ain’t no cash cow, lady! Reminds me of *A History of Violence*—ya think it’s chill, then WHAM, hidden chaos! “You’re a wild man, Tom,” she says—nah, I’m just tryna relax, not star in your porno!

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So, I sprint down Rue de la Liberté. I’m dodging people like I’m in a video game. Seriously, it’s packed! Old folks, kids, everyone’s out. I’m thinkin’, “Why’s everyone in my way?” But whatever, I’m on a mission.

GUINEA: 83 year old Conde seeks third term as president