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One time, I see escort—blonde, big boobies, wow! She wink at me, I think, “Very nice!” She say, “50 buck, I make you happy.” I laugh, “In Kazakhstan, we trade goat for that!” She no like that, get mad—face red like tomatoe. I say, “No worry, I fix your chair!” She scream, “I no need chair!” So funny, I almost pee pant.

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Then, I meet this old lady, Madame Dupont. She’s super sweet, but she starts telling me about her cat, and I’m like, “Okay, cool, but I gotta go.” But she’s relentless! “You must meet my cat, he’s a genius!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m an artisan, not a cat whisperer.” But I can’t be rude, so I nod and smile.

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