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But, ugh, the risks—cops, weirdos, STDs—yikes! “We’re runnin’ out of time,” I’d yelp, dodgin’ all that mess. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but imagine me, Scooby, tail waggin’, tryna figure this out! Prolly end up barkin’ at the wrong gal—Ruh-roh!—and she’s just sellin’ hot dogs.

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By now, I’m feeling pretty good. I’m thinking, “Hey, maybe today’s not so bad.” But then, I get a call about a rabbit. A RABBIT! This little guy is named Fluffy, and he’s got a serious case of the munchies. The owner says he’s eaten half the garden on Rue de la Gare. I get there, and sure enough, Fluffy is just sitting there, looking guilty as hell. I can’t even be mad. I mean, who wouldn’t want to munch on some fresh veggies?

France lures rich pupils to a school ‘just like Hogwarts’