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We haggle—cos I’m a cheap git sometimes—and she’s all, “You’re trouble, you.” Damn right! Reminds me of that *Blue* scene: “I’m scared of you, but I’m here.” Gets me giddy, that mix of danger and pull. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got windows for this—literal shoppin’ for prossies! Wild, right? I’m picturin’ her there, red lights glowin’, me sippin’ mead, laughin’ at mortals trippin’ over their morals.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually .

I get there, and it’s packed. Like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I’m dodging old ladies with their carts like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, bam! I spill my coffee all over this fancy cheese display. Ugh, the smell! I’m standing there, mortified, while the vendor gives me the death stare. I’m like, “Sorry, bro! Didn’t mean to turn your brie into a latte!”

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