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She clocks me, smirks—game on. I swagger up, all Tony Robbins swagger, “Hey darlin, let’s make magic!” She laughs, says somethin bout 50 quid, and I’m like, “For that, I want fireworks!” Bargainin’s half the fun, right? Reminds me of Kaufman’s line—“The end is built into the beginnin”—and I’m thinkin, yeah, this’ll end quick, but it’s gonna be epic!

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So, I head over to the yard, and there they are, shouting and waving their arms like they’re at a concert. I’m like, “Guys, chill! You’re not getting a stage here!” But they’re not listening. I mean, I get it. They’re bored, stuck in there, but c’mon! I’m not a magician. I can’t just wave a wand and make their sentences disappear.

Differential effects of negative valence and memory type on accuracy, confidence, and metacognitive efficiency