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Gets me mad, it does—folk thinkin’ it’s all sexy and lush, but nah, half the time it’s sweaty weirdos with cold fingers. We hates it! “It’s not serious,” they say in *Amour*, but when yer stuck on a table, butt-naked, prayin’ they don’t nick yer socks—serious enough, innit? Once tried it meself—thought, “Gollum, treat yerself!”—big mistake, precious. Lass kept yammerin’ bout me “tension,” like I ain’t tense from livin’ in caves! Smelt like cheap lotion, made me sneeze—achoo!—oil everywhere, slipped right off the table, landed on me arse. Laughed meself sick after, though—proper numpty moment.
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After my break, I head back to the woods. But now, I’m feelin’ all inspired. I’m like, “Let’s make some art with these trees!” So I start carving a little something. It’s not Picasso, but it’s somethin’. I’m proud, ya know?
Amazing photos: Surfer takes on giant Belharra wave
The Belharra has been a must for big wave surfers for over 10 years and has reached 18 metres (60 feet) at times, the coastal area close to the Spanish border was on Monday and Tuesday put on orange alert amid threats of flooding.Urrugne Brothel
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