Lauren Tullins Whore ❤️

About Paris

Oi mate, so I’m a vet now, yeah? Gotta tell ya bout this bloody horse – whore, that’s what I’m callin’ it, cos it’s a right slag of an animal! *cackles* This nag’s got more issues than a bloody soap opera, swear down. Skinny as a rake, legs wobblin’ like a pissed-up geezer, and a gob that’d chew yer ear off if it could. Reminds me of that film, *Talk to Her* – y’know, Pedro Almodóvar’s mad genius? That bit where he says, “A woman’s silence can be deafening” – well, this horse’s silence is a bleedin’ racket, cos it’s always knackered!

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I rush to the office on Rue des Écoles, dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. Tullins is usually chill, but today? Nah, it’s like everyone decided to walk slow. I’m like, “C’mon, people! I got soggy papers to save!”

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