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Heard this mad tale once – Ancient Rome, yeah? Blokes got massages with olive oil, starkers, by slaves trained special. Proper kinky, them Romans! Called it *strigiling* or summat – scraping you down after. Dirty sods! Makes me chuckle, thinking we’re posher now, but are we? Still chasing that tingle, that *je ne sais quoi*. Gets me goat, though – folk acting all prim about it. Hypocrites! Bet they’d love a go, sneaky buggers.

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But then, I hit the market on Rue de la Liberté. Oh man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and fish. I’m droolin’. I grab a baguette, and this lady behind the counter is super grumpy. Like, lady, it’s a market, not a funeral! I ask her for some cheese, and she rolls her eyes. I mean, c’mon! I’m just tryna live my best life here!

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