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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic - brothel! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on about the oldest profession, eh? Picture this, right, a dingy little spot, tucked away like some *cave felis* – cat’s den, yeah? Red lights flickerin’, curtains drawn tight, proper cheeky stuff. Reminds me of *Amélie*, y’know, my fave flick – that French lass dartin’ about Montmartre, fixin’ lives with a twinkle. Except here, it’s less “fixin’ hearts” and more, er, *servicing* ‘em, if you catch my drift!

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Then, the fire brigade shows up. Sirens blaring, lights flashing. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m just trying to focus on my stoves, but now I’m a spectator in this crazy drama. I mean, who needs TV when you’ve got Tournan-en-Brie street life, am I right?

Une bagarre à coups de hache fait quatre blessés dans le RER E