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Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint – had my fun, “shaken, not stirred,” winkin’ at her across the bar. But it’s a game, innit? She’s playin’ me, I’m playin’ her – “What hast thou done to me?” like Colin Farrell mumbles in the movie. Gets me thinkin’ – is it lust or somethin’ deeper? Nah, prolly just the martini talkin’.

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I hit the streets, and it’s a beautiful day. The sun’s shining, and I’m walking down Rue Alsace-Lorraine, feeling good. But then, BAM! I step in some dog poop. Like, seriously? Who lets their dog do that in the middle of the sidewalk? I’m hopping around like a madman, trying to shake it off. People are staring. Great, just great.

Bordeaux-Begles v Toulouse: Five takeaways as Louis Bielle-Biarrey stars