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But yo, when it works? Fire. Straight fire. Met this shorty once, sex-dating app, no cap—her bio was “let’s make chaos.” We vibed, smashed, felt like “the end is near” but in a good way, ya feel? Little known fact, fam—back in ’09, some dude in Sweden made a sex-dating site just for metalheads. Headbangers bangin’, wild shit! True story, look it up—metal n’ sex, perfect combo.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Pierre shows up. He’s got this huge grin on his face. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m like, “What? A unicorn?” He laughs and says, “Nah, but close! There’s a street performer on Place du Capitole juggling fire!” I’m like, “What? I gotta see this!”

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