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I swagger over, all cocky, sayin, “Hey, darlin, what’s the price?” She laughs, all raspy, “More’n ya blood-soaked coins, big guy.” Cheeky! I’m lovin it – reminds me of Eli in the movie, y’know, that line, “I’m not a girl!” – mysterious vibes, keeps ya guessin. Did ya know, back in Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Weird, right? Stand out like a sore thumb – or a happy lil tree in a desert!

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So, I grab my baguette and head to the park, Parc de la Mairie. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. Kids everywhere, screamin’ and runnin’ around. I’m just tryna enjoy my bread, but nooo, they’re playin’ tag and bump into me. I spill my coffee all over my boots. Great. Just great.

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