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Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.

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As I’m walking, I can’t help but think about how this little town has its quirks. The mix of old and new, the people, the vibes. It’s like a hidden gem. I mean, who knew a day could be so packed with stuff?

Champagne chef wins coveted three Michelin stars