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Heya, man, so I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my air guitar—D’oh!—thinkin’ bout *Certified Copy* an’ this weird idea of findin’ a prostitute. Like, what’s real, what’s fake, huh? Kiarostami’s got me all twisted up, y’know, “What is this thing between us?”—that’s what Juliette Binoche says in the flick, an’ I’m like, whoa, deep stuff! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, waddlin’ down Springfield streets lookin’ for a hooker—ha! “Mmm… donuts.”—’cept I’d probly get distracted by a donut shop first.

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So, I’m grumbling, but whatever. I pay and move on. Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy, Marc. He’s all hyped about some new bar opening on Rue des Écoles. He’s like, “Dude, we gotta check it out tonight!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?”