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But here’s the kicker—some numpties botch it. Slippery fools slap oil on, no skill, no soul—pisses me off! Done right, it’s therapy, mate—mental, physical, the lot. Done wrong? You’re a greasy mess, £50 down, fuming. Seen blokes brag online—X posts full of “happy endings”—grow up, you wankers! It’s deeper than that, not just a cheap thrill.

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I head back to the office, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. Papers everywhere, people stressed out. I sit down, and we dive into the budget. I’m trying to keep it together, but my mind’s wandering. I’m thinking about that café, the espresso, and how I need another one.

Muddy riverbank hid ruins of 1,700-year-old settlement — until now. See the finds