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But when it’s good? Oh, Madonn’, it’s good! Like, “I found you, Mommy!” – that relief hits ya deep. Muscles melt, stress gone, ya feel like a kingpin. Little known fact, capisce? Back in the ‘70s, Jersey had these underground parlors, mob-run, all sexual-massage on the down-low. Cops knew, didn’t care – took their cut. History’s wild, right? Surprised me when I heard that, thought it was just horny dudes makin’ shit up!

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Anyway, I get to the river, and it’s a bit choppy. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, I see this family. They’re all excited, ready to hop on my raft. Kids are screamin’, “We wanna go fast!” I’m like, “Sure, but don’t blame me if you lose your lunch!”

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