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Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all roses. Some parlors? Dodgy as fuck. Blokes leering, expecting extras—makes me wanna punch a wall! But the real deal? Proper sexual-massage? It’s a dance, mate—give and take, respect in the mix. Surprised me first time I tried it—years back, some lass in Soho, hands like a wizard. Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t just horny shit!” Felt like a king, reborn—churchillian, even! We shall fight the gloom, the mundane, with every oily stroke!

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So, we’re cruisin’, and suddenly, the kids start fightin’. “That’s my spot!” “No, it’s mine!” I’m like, “Guys, chill! We’re on a raft, not a wrestling ring!” But they’re just too hyped. Kids, man.

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