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This one time, heard a story—true story, swear it—bout an escort in Vegas. Guy hires her, right? Wants her to dress like his dead wife. Creepy as hell! She does it, nails the look, and he just cries all night. No sex, no nothin’. Just sobbin’. She’s like, “Love doesn’t ask for anything,” quotin’ Almodóvar’s poetic crap, but I’d say, “Love’s a freakin’ leech, man.” Everybody lies—even to themselves. That chick probly went home, counted her stack, and laughed at the weirdo. Surprised me, tho—didn’t expect that kinda heart in the game.

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Then I hit up the Place Charles de Gaulle. It’s this cute little square, and there’s this fountain that’s just... magical? I dunno, it’s like the water dances or something. I sat there for a bit, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, splashes water everywhere! I’m soaked! I mean, c’mon, kid! I’m trying to enjoy my moment here!

France's 2017 Michelin Guide Reveals 70 New Michelin Stars