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About Marseille

Surprised me how many peeps just want quickies—stats say 40% of Tinder’s for hookups, not love. Blows my mind! And the slang— “DTF,” “NSA,” it’s a bloody code. Took me ages to crack it, felt like a fossil. Oh, and the profiles— “Lookin’ for fun, no drama”—mate, you’re on a sex app, drama’s built-in!

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So, I hop out, and there’s this festival or somethin’. People everywhere, music blaring. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” But then I see this little kid, maybe 5 or 6, dancing like he’s on fire. I can’t help but laugh. He’s got moves! I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I had that energy.”

70 eggs in one sitting? The tragic fate of history’s greediest glutton