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About Lille

So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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First off, I had to get my hair done. You know, the whole geisha look with the crazy hairstyles? Yeah, that. I went to this salon on Rue des Écoles. The lady there, she’s a legend, but today? Ugh. She was running late. Like, seriously? I’m a Maiko, not a patient person! I was fuming. I mean, I had a whole schedule to keep!

Talant Dujshebaev: I want to be like Alex Ferguson, but…