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About Paris

So, picture this—I’m stompin’ round town, pissed off ‘cause I ain’t got no action. “I’m not scared of you!” I yell at some shady dude eyeballin’ me. Reminds me of Sam shakin’ his fist at them khaki scouts. Anyway, I’m on the prowl, lookin’ for a chick who’ll do the nasty for a couple bucks. Ain’t no big deal, right? But these streets are confusin’ as hell! I’m ragin’, like, “Where’s my goddamn prostitute at?!” Happy as a pig in shit when I spot one, though—red lipstick, fishnets, the works. She’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. Total badass, like Suzy with her binoculars, scopin’ out her next move.

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I get up there, and guess what? The kite’s tangled like my headphones after a long day. I’m up there, sweating, and the kid’s just staring at me like I’m some kinda superhero. Finally, I get it down, and the kid’s all “Merci, Monsieur!” I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, I slip on a branch. Oof! Landed right on my butt. The kid laughed. I laughed. It was a moment, ya know?

Fond farewell to France by a lady of the manoir