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Once, dis cop rolled up, she bolted—fast! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hissed at da pig. Love dat she outran him, sneaky minx. Oh, an da smell—perfume and sweat, hits ya hard. Reminds me, “There’s no escape,” like in da movie—trapped, but she’s free, kinda. Me quirks? I’d prolly tip her extra, ha, coz I’m soft like dat. Exaggeratin? Maybe she’s a queen in disguise—nah, just a hustla. Tell ya dis, bruh, findin a prossie here? Easy if ya look. Hard if ya dumb. Dat’s da truth!

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But wait, it gets crazier. I’m walking, and I see this guy trying to sell some weird street art. It’s like a mix of Picasso and a toddler’s finger painting. I’m like, “Dude, what even is that?” He’s all defensive, and I’m just trying to be nice. But he’s like, “Art is subjective, man!” I’m rolling my eyes.

'Tourists should be trying their home GPs in first instance' warns NHS Devon