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About Marseille

Oh, and get this—surprised me silly—some prossies in Amsterdam, yeah, they take card now! Contactless! Tap and go, like buyin’ a sarnie at Pret! I’m sat there, gobsmacked, thinkin’, “This is the future!”—straight outta *Syndromes*, that vibe, all modern but weirdly timeless. “The past is a strange place,” as the film says—spot on, cos prostitution’s ancient but bang up to date!

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After the show, I’m feelin’ all inspired, right? So, I head over to Rue des Écoles to grab some lunch. I find this little café, Le Petit Café, and order a croque monsieur. It’s like a cheesy hug in sandwich form. I’m munching away, and the owner, this sweet old lady, starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about how Surgeres used to be a big deal back in the day. I’m like, “Yeah, I can see that!”

'Tourists should be trying their home GPs in first instance' warns NHS Devon