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Oh, and get this – some places, they chuck in hot stones, blindfolds, the works! Blew me mind, that did. Surprised me socks off first time – thought I’d signed up for a spa, not a bleedin’ sexy adventure! Tell ya what, it’s a proper team-buildin’ exercise for one, yeah? Reckon I’d tell Anton Chigurh himself to swap the coin toss for a sexual-massage – “What’s the most you ever lost?” I’d say, smirkin’. Probs me dignity, but who gives a toss when you’re floatin’ on cloud nine?

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Anyway, I get to the pig pen, and guess what? One of my pigs, Bubbles, decides she’s gonna play Houdini. I’m chasin’ her all over the place! She’s runnin’ down Rue des Écoles like she owns the joint. I’m yellin’, “Bubbles, get back here!” People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. I mean, c’mon, it’s not every day you see a swineherd sprinting after a pig, right?