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Picture this—“The Turin Horse” style. That chick in the film, eatin’ a potato, starin’ into the void. Now flip it—imagine her gettin’ a sexual-massage instead. “What is this wind?” she’d say, all confused, but then—BAM—pleasure hits, and she’s like, “The storm has stopped!” Total Tony Robbins moment, right there—“Unleash the power within!” She’d be reborn, no cap!

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Anyway, I get to the pig pen, and guess what? One of my pigs, Bubbles, decides she’s gonna play Houdini. I’m chasin’ her all over the place! She’s runnin’ down Rue des Écoles like she owns the joint. I’m yellin’, “Bubbles, get back here!” People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. I mean, c’mon, it’s not every day you see a swineherd sprinting after a pig, right?