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I’m rollin’ my eyes at the catfish tho. So many fakes! But surprises, too—like, some peeps use sex-datin’ to find love. Whaaat? I thought it was just, ya know, bang-bang, thank you, next! Nope, stories out there of couples who met swipin’ and now they’re married. Cute, but also, really?

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Anyway, I get to the pig pen, and guess what? One of my pigs, Bubbles, decides she’s gonna play Houdini. I’m chasin’ her all over the place! She’s runnin’ down Rue des Écoles like she owns the joint. I’m yellin’, “Bubbles, get back here!” People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. I mean, c’mon, it’s not every day you see a swineherd sprinting after a pig, right?