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But y’know what’s wild? Sometimes it’s… pretty, pretty good. Like, I matched this one chick—total fox, played bass, too! We’re vibin’, talkin’ strings, then she’s all, “Wanna hook up?” I’m like, “Hell yeah!”—but in my head, I’m screamin’, “Is this a trap?!” That’s the *History of Violence* twist, man! You think it’s chill, then—BAM—she’s got baggage or an ex with a crowbar! We did it anyway—hot, messy, guitar amps crashin’. Felt like that stair scene, y’know? “You’re the wildest thing I’ve ever seen,” she says. I’m glowin’—then she ghosts me! Typical!

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But then, I see this kid on a bike zooming past. He’s going way too fast, and I’m like, “Bro, slow down!” Next thing I know, he crashes into a lamppost. Ouch! I rush over, and he’s fine, just a bit shaken. I help him up, and he’s like, “I’m okay, just my pride is hurt.” Classic kid.

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