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Here’s the kicker—did ya know in ancient Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Stand out from the “proper” ladies. Imagine that now—her with a neon wig, me cacklin’ like a madman. Made me happy, that mental image, coz it’s so absurd. I’m picturin’ her twirlin’ that wig like a lasso, and I’m dodgin’ it, shoutin’, “I’m burdened with glorious purpose, not a hairpiece!”

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First off, I hit up the boulangerie on Rue de la République. You know, the one with the best croissants? I’m talking buttery, flaky goodness. I grab one, and boom! I spill coffee all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m like, “Awesome, now I look like a walking café.”

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