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About Paris

Last week, I tried it, yeah—mate hooked me up, some chick with magic hands. Walked in, dim lights, candles, I’m like, “This is nang!” She’s all, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m thinkin’, “Shit, this is better than chips and curry sauce!” Oils hit my back, warm, slippin’ everywhere—she’s workin’ it, proper slow, like Emma tracin’ Adèle’s skin, “You’re so beautiful,” I’m hearin’ in my head. Got me vexed tho—why ain’t this on the NHS? Bare injustice, fam!

Aux alentours

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First off, I hit the streets of Rue de la République. It’s like the main vein of this place, ya know? I’m just strolling, minding my own biz, when I see this old lady, Madame Dupont, struggling with her groceries. I mean, c’mon, it’s like 10 bags! I’m like, “Yo, Madame, need a hand?” She looks at me like I’m a superhero or something. I swear, she almost cried. I felt like a champ, but then she starts telling me her life story. I’m talkin’ about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, who’s apparently the reincarnation of Napoleon. Like, what?

How river freight eases congestion in cities