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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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We head over to Parc des Coteaux, and it’s beautiful, even in the rain. The trees are lush, and the flowers are still blooming. I’m feeling a bit better. I tell them about the history of the park, how it used to be a hangout for artists. But then, I trip over a root. Classic! I fall, and my phone goes flying. I’m like, “Noooo!”

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