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I ain’t judgin’, right? Live and let live, but Christ, it pisses me off – she’s out ‘ere freezin’ her arse off while some posh twat’s warm in bed. Gets me blood boilin’! Then she laughs, all hoarse, and I’m like, “Fuckin’ hell, that’s dark.” Surprised me, y’know? Got a heart under all that slap. Reminds me o’ “Yi Yi” again – “Why’s the world so fuckin’ different?” – ‘cos it is, mate, for her especially.

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So, I head out to this job on Avenue de la Gare. Gotta trim some trees, make ‘em look all nice and neat. But when I get there, I see this massive oak. I mean, HUGE. Like, “Why is this tree trying to take over the world?” I’m standing there, jaw dropped, thinking, “How the heck am I gonna tackle this beast?”

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