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Now, I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, I say. But some of ‘em? Shadier’n a backwoods outhouse. Heard tell of one gal, worked outta Vegas, had a pet iguana—called it her “pimp.” Swear to Jesus, that lizard’d hiss if you shorted her cash! Surprised me so bad I near choked on my Bud Light! “You ain’t got no problem, Hans Landa!”—she’d say, laughin’. Gotta admit, that’s got style.

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I start my anticorrosion magic, spraying and coating like a boss. But then, I slip on some wet ground. I go down hard. I’m lying there, thinking, “Great, now I’m a rusty anticorrosion agent.” I can’t help but laugh at myself.

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