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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout them sex escorts! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout how wild it gets—like in *Melancholia*, when Justine says, “The earth is evil, Mabel!”—and I’m like, honey, some o’ these escort folks prolly feel that too! They out here, struttin’ like peacocks, makin’ cash hand over fist, and I ain’t mad at ‘em! Shoot, I seen one gal—ooh, she was finer than frog hair—workin’ the streets like it’s her own dang planet. Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause she owned it!

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon decides to drop a bomb on my shoulder. I’m talking a full-on aerial assault. I’m like, “Great, just great.” Now I’m covered in bird poop, and my client is cracking up. I can’t even be mad. It’s too ridiculous. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m screaming.

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