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One time, I’m haulin’ groceries, and the dang alternator quits. Stranded, madder than a wet hen! Called my buddy Jimmy, he’s like, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” I bout lost it—screamin’, “It ain’t, ya jackass!” Took 3 hours to fix, sweatin’ like a sinner in church. But here’s the kicker: them Escorts were cheap—poor man’s chariot! Gas mileage? Sweet as Margot Tenenbaum’s sly lil’ smile. Kept me rollin’ when cash was tighter than a gnat’s behind.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Sautron, and I swear, I thought it was just gonna be another boring Tuesday. But nah, life had other plans. First off, I spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Like, seriously? Who needs a clean shirt anyway, right?

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