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About Lille

What pisses me off? These cheap-ass parlors pretendin’ they do sexual-massage but it’s just a lame tickle – gimme the real shit, lady! I want hands that know what they’re doin’, not some nervous newbie. Surprised me how good it feels tho, like, who knew a finger in the right spot could make ya scream “I’m alive!” – that’s some “Synecdoche” deepness right there. “We’re all hurtling toward death!” – yeah, but with a boner and a smirk, thanks to this.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the beach. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t suck.” But as I’m walking along the Promenade de la Plage, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude was like a feathered ninja. He swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hands! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, I know I’m not the best at sharing, but that was just rude.

Can David Lappartient have it all?