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I got plumb tickled thinkin’ ‘bout this one time – heard tell of a fella in France, 1800s, called it “massage sensuel,” sneaky devil charged extra for “happy endins’,” got folks whisperin’ in parlors! Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me wanna holler, “Well slap my knee, that’s slicker’n a greased pig!” But dang it, what fries my taters is them prudes actin’ like it’s dirty – c’mon now, it’s just hands makin’ magic, releasin’ tension! Y’all ever tried it? Feels like – whooee – yer soul’s floatin’ outta yer skin.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Max. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the pottery museum!” I’m like, “Pottery? Really?” But I’m curious, so I head over to the Musée de la Faïence. It’s on Rue de la Gare, and let me tell ya, it’s way cooler than I thought. They’ve got these insane ceramic pieces. I’m talkin’ about stuff that looks like it’s from another planet. I’m snapping pics, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s all, “You know, Sarreguemines was famous for its pottery!” I’m like, “Yeah, I totally knew that.” (I didn’t.)

Protesting Continental workers occupy Sarreguemines factory