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What gets me buzzin’ tho? The chase, bruv. That moment you lock eyes over a pint after a match, heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—better than any movie. But the flops? Christ, the ghostin’—chicks vanishin’ like “We got eighteen years,” poof, gone. Hurts the ego, don’t it? I’m like, “Oi, at least say I’m a twat first!” Hella surprises too—met a geezer who only dated for free meals. Proper player, respect.

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First off, I hit up Rue de la République. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m sippin’ my coffee, just chillin’, when I see this street artist. Dude’s painting a mural of a giant cat. Like, why a cat? But it’s dope! I’m all about that creativity. I snap a pic, and boom! My Insta’s blowin’ up.

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