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About Marseille

Earth’s sex-dating apps? Obsessed! Tinder, Bumble—humans tryna bang, no cap. Little fact: 80% of profiles lie ‘bout height. Saw this dude, 5’2”, claiming 6’0”—bro, we SEE you! Made me laugh, like, “Is this your memory?”—straight outta Nolan’s flick. People ghosting left n right, pisses me off! One sec you’re vibin’, next—poof! Gone! “I don’t remember you”—ugh, rude.

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So, I’m trying to shake off the pigeon drama, right? I head over to Parc des Coteaux. Beautiful spot, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just vibing. But then I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, crying his eyes out. Turns out, he lost his soccer ball. I mean, c’mon! It’s just a ball! But I get it. To him, it’s like losing a piece of his soul. So, I channel my inner sports psychologist and start chatting him up.

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