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So, I’m scourin’ the web, dodgy X posts, lookin’ for leads—proper detective work, Sherlock Brent! Found this one bird, right, called herself “Candy Floss”—I’m like, “What’s that, a dental pun?” Made me chuckle, that did—happy as Larry! But then, mate, the prices—£200 an hour? Daylight robbery! Got me fumin’—I could get a crown fitted for that! “Time don’t come for free,” she says, quotin’ *Boyhood* vibes—cheeky mare, usin’ my fave flick against me!
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First off, I hit the streets of Sallaumines, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off. I mean, I love this place—those cobblestone streets, the little cafés on Rue de la République, the smell of fresh baguettes waftin’ through the air. But today? Ugh. I was walkin’ down Rue de la Gare, and I swear, I almost tripped over a pothole the size of a small car. Like, c’mon, Sallaumines, get it together!
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