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About Bordeaux

Oh, and the typos—sory, too hyped, fingers slippin like them oily hands. Personal quirk? I’m yellin in my head the whole time, “Don’t fart, don’t fart!”—true story, nearly lost it once, woulda been a *Dark Knight*-level disaster. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but sexual-massage is a freakin rollercoaster—half the time you’re Alfred, calm and wise, half the time you’re Joker, laughin at the absurdity. Try it, don’t try it—just don’t trust the “relax” part. Everybody lies, mate—everybody lies.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the wet sock vibe, and I see this cute little café on Rue des Thermes. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee.” I order my usual, a café crème, and the barista, this super chill dude, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, right?

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