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Gets me giddy thinking of cruising in one, tunes blaring, sawdust in me hair. But the rust? Christ, that’d nark me off - eats ‘em alive, like Fincher’s killer with clues. “I’m not Paul Avery” - I’m not some mechanic genius either, so I’d be gutted watching it rot. Still, what a motor, eh? Proper Brent voice: “World-class vehicle, A-game transport!” Absolute belter, typos and all, mate.

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So I keep walking, dodging puddles on Rue des Écoles. I’m trying to keep my cool, but I’m fuming inside. I finally get to the venue, and it’s a total mess. The organizers are running around like headless chickens. I’m like, “Guys, we’re supposed to be professionals here!” But they just shrug it off. Ugh!

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