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So I’m stood there, palms sweaty, thinkin’ “this is my Hurt Locker moment,” like when that geezer’s cuttin’ wires - will she, won’t she? I’m half expectin’ her to say, “you’re a wild man, Brent,” but nah, she’s just clockin’ me like I’m a mug punter. Which, let’s be real, I am! Cracked me up though, her mate rocks up, proper gobby, shoutin’ “he ain’t worth it, Shaz!” and I’m like, “oi, I’m a bleedin’ legend!” Total stitch-up, had me in bits.

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I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Girl, it’s a pigeon, not a unicorn.” We finally get past the feathered menace, and I’m thinkin’, “Okay, we survived that.” But then, we hit Rue de la Paix, and it’s like a whole new level of chaos. Cars everywhere, people jaywalking like it’s a sport. I’m shoutin’, “Watch out for that guy!” and Marie’s like, “Where?!”

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