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About Lyon

I’m sitting here, hating life. Sexual-massage isn’t my thing. Too much hippy-dippy nonsense. “Connect with your body,” they say. My body’s connected just fine, thanks. But get this—some places teach it as a legit skill. Classes and everything. Surprised me again. Thought it was just sketchy ads on late-night TV. Nope, certifications exist. Crazy world. Brokeback, though, that’s real emotion. “You know, it could be like this, just like this, always.” Wish massages were that simple. Just two guys, no oils.

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First off, I had to head to the lab on Rue de la Loire. I’m a Research Associate, but honestly, some days I feel more like a lab rat. Anyway, I’m walking down the street, and I see this cute little café, Le Café de la Loire. I’m like, “Okay, I’ll grab a croissant.” But guess what? They were out! Like, how do you run out of croissants in France? I was so mad. I mean, come on!

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