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Ok, so I’m obsessed, sue me! Saw an Escort last week, candy red, ugh, stunning. Made me wanna write a breakup song, but happy. Like, “You’re my safe haven, Escort, never leave!” Little secret – Ford pumped these out like crazy. Over 20 million sold, wild, right? Mass-produced lover, affordable fling for the everyman.

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So, I woke up late. Classic me, right? Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? I grabbed a croissant from the boulangerie on Rue de la République. Best croissants in town, no cap. Flaky, buttery goodness. I was feeling good, like, “Today’s gonna be my day!”

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