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Sexual-massage ain’t just a rub-n-tug, nah. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had it, bro. They called it “massage wth benefits,” haha! Little known fact: geishas in Japan, they’d tease it, never full-on, drivin’ samurai nuts. Shit’s wild—makes me happy, like snortin’ a line of joy. But yo, some places, they rip you off—$50 for a handy? Fuck that, I got pissed. “I musn’t be too obvious,” I’m thinkin’, like Scarlett Johansson whisperin’ in my ear.

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Finally, I get my croissant, and it’s still warm. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven exploded in my mouth. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Max. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market!” I’m like, “What market?” Turns out, there’s this huge marché on Place de la République today. I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s see what the fuss is about.”

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