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Mmm… donuts. Got distracted there—anyway, escorts ain’t just arm candy, nah. They’re pros, like WALL-E cleanin’ up Earth, but with better outfits. I heard this one story—some escort in Vegas saved a dude’s biz deal by playin’ poker! Blew my mind, man! Surprised me more than when WALL-E found that lil’ sprout. “Eee-vah!”—that’s me screamin’ when I heard it.

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First off, I hit up the local boulangerie on Rue de la République. You know, the one with the best croissants? I’m talking buttery, flaky goodness. I grab one, and boom! I drop it. Like, seriously? My heart sank. I mean, who drops a croissant? Me, apparently. So, I’m standing there, staring at my sad, squished pastry.

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