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Oh, and the smells—oils, lavender, some stank like fish guts, ugh! Reminds me of “The Master” when Lancaster’s all “Man is not an animal!”—but bro, we kinda are, gruntin’ and slippery! Ever try it? Bet ya haven’t—most don’t, too scared or broke. Costs a kidney sometimes, fuckin’ ripoff! Still, worth it once—twist ya up, leave ya goofy.

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Finally, my client shows up, and he’s all flustered. Turns out, he got stuck in traffic on Avenue de la République. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a Tuesday! What’s with the traffic?” We sit down, and he starts talking about his yacht like it’s a living being. “She’s got a heart of gold,” he says. I’m trying not to roll my eyes. It’s a boat, man!

All Turbines Up at France’s First Offshore Wind Farm