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“Life’s too short,” like dat movie line, ya? Dese escorts, dey know it. Some save up, get out, start new. Others? Stuck. Breaks me heart a lil, not gonna lie. But den—lightbulb!—some are bosses at it! Dis gal in Paris, runs her own gig, website, fancy pics, rakes in millions. MILLIONS! I was like, “Gru, why you no tink of dis?!” Ha, too late, me bald head ain’t sexy no more.

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I duck into a shop on Rue de la Liberté, and it’s packed with the cutest stuff. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly pretending to look at trinkets. I mean, come on, guys, we’re in Saint-Michel-sur-Orge, not a soap opera!

Matti