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Little known fact—back in ‘Nam days, soldiers got these in Bangkok, called ‘em “happy endings.” Ain’t that a hoot? Hist’ry’s wild! I’m sittin’ there, oil everywhere, thinkin’, “This is the stuff they don’t teach in school!” Made me mad, tho—why’d nobody tell me sooner? Coulda used this after them long Oval Office days, dodgin’ Cheney’s grumpin’. Surprised me too—didn’t expect no toe-curlin’ from a $20 joint!

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So, I finally find a bench to chill on. I’m just about to pull out my notebook and jot down some thoughts when I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m trying to mind my own business, but they’re right in my face. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and the girl’s like, “Well, you never talk!” I’m thinking, “Wow, relationship goals, right?” I mean, I’m a counselor, so I’m tempted to jump in and be like, “Hey, let’s talk about your feelings!” But nah, I just sit back and enjoy the show.

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