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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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Finally, I wrap up my day with a stroll through the streets of Saint-Maur. I pass by the Église Saint-Hilaire, and it’s just stunning. I stop to take a pic, and this old lady comes up to me and starts chatting. She’s telling me about how she’s lived here her whole life. I’m like, “Wow, that’s amazing!” But then she starts going off about how the city’s changed. “Back in my day…” you know the drill. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Lady, I just wanted a nice photo!”

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